Clearing the Air

Earlier this year I an acquaintance of mine was interested in coming out to Guam to work at the club I have been working at for the past 9 months. She hesitated and eventually decided not to come out, saying that she was uncomfortable with how touchy the clubs are in Guam. About 2 months ago I received a message from her saying she had decided to come out after all. She said that she had not come out because of a boyfriend at the time. She told me that she put off many things in her life for whatever guy she was dating at the time and that she was ready to make decisions for herself and just do it.

I didn't know her very well before she came out, but I vouched for her to the owner of the club and even gave her a free apartment to stay in. These things are favors no doubt, but even more so within context. My boss is an incredibly picky man who does not, under any circumstances, bring out a new dancer knocking thirty, on contract who hasn't worked for him previously or wasn't recommended by a dancer at the club. I vouched for her, judging the little I knew of her to be respectable and hard working. We messaged back and forth quite a bit before she came out, and from our conversations I was given the impression she was here to take work seriously, not to flooze around for guys. In her own words she made this sentiment to me.

I have no problem with people being promiscuous or falling recklessly in lust with numerous people. We are adults and have free will. I do, however, have a problem with people who claim to have a steadfast intention while their actions contradict such motives completely.

So she came out here, and under contract dancers must live in "dancer housing" for the first month they are here. I took my friend to dancer housing, and the very next day she was complaining of bugs in the house and cold showers. She emailed our boss claiming extreme anxiety and begging if she could move in with me right away. He conceded, and I was all too happy to have her live with me. For the past few months I have been living in a friend of mine's apartment who is in the Navy and is currently deployed. I haven't been paying him rent, but I have been paying utilities to help out. Despite this, I never asked the girl to help out. I figured since she was here to take work seriously I would help her out. I even moved out of the master bedroom where I had been staying so that she could take that room and be more comfortable. Guam can be a bit of a culture shock, and starting at any new strip club is stressful. I even slept on the couch for a few days because another dancer friend of mine was staying at my apartment in the other bedroom.

I gave her rides to and from work when she needed them and tried my best to help her acclimate and get to know her a little better. I'm a pretty quiet, laid back person, and she is even more so, so conversation was stilted at best. I figured I gave her a good start with a job and a free place, and that a woman almost thirty could take care of herself. All she could ever talk about was her best friend back home whom she was involved with in some complicated way, but she seemed happy enough.

A few short weeks after she was working at the club she met a guy that she decided to no show, no call to work on a Saturday in order to hang out with. This was irritating enough to me given that I had vouched for her. She was being irresponsible, but she was also making me look bad. I didn't see her all the next day until right before work as I was stepping naked out of the shower, I see her and the guy walking into her bedroom. I was startled at seeing some guy in my apartment with no warning, so I said something about as I was standing there, awkwardly naked. Her response was that he was not some random guy because he had bought me one drink before. I said that if I was ok with any guy in my house that had ever bought me a shot, there would be hundreds of guys in my house at any given moment, at which point they shut the bedroom door and she didn't leave until it was time to go to work.

Even if she had been paying me rent, I would have expected some warning that she was having someone over. I like to feel safe and comfortable in my home. Given that I was not asking for rent, and in fact had gotten her out of paying rent to our boss, I expect that simple courtesy. When she moved in with me my boss told me to make sure she paid me at least as much rent as she would have been paying him, which is about $400 a month. I lied and told him I would, but of course did not. Again, I wanted to help her. I had been planning to leave the island for vacation, if not for good, in October some time, I told her this prior to her coming out, and told her I could give her an apartment up until the time that I left. She was well aware I wouldn't be staying. In fact, I had wanted to go home in August, but stayed in Guam a couple more months so I could help her adjust and get started at the club. My friend whose apartment I was staying in invited me into his home, and expressly told me to take my friend(s) who were living there with me as well, with me whenever I left. His apartment was not a free-for-all dancer housing, he was my friend who allowed me to live at his place.

When I first moved into the apartment, it was with another dancer friend of mine who needed help. We were very close friends at a point, but it went downhill when she started ditching me for any guy who gave her a second glance. I felt very hurt and taken advantage of by my friend. Before too long these two "friends" had ganged up on me, and were using me in the exact same ways.

The night after the girl had brought a guy into the apartment without asking, I sent her a message telling her she owed me the $400 in rent she would have been paying our boss since she violated her contract and disrespected me in my home.

I received the following message in response:


I have no problem paying Ed rent, and I will make arrangements with him when he comes home & I meet him. He will be who I will or won't be living with since you are leaving & getting married.

And just so we're clear, YOU were in the wrong & owe me an apology.

Erin, I never knew when I moved out here that you were such a bad person. Then you did nothing but talk shit about your "friends" that you moved in here while smiling in their face & buying them Tiffany's earrings. I honestly don't know how you live with yourself & the kind of person you are.

You were RUDE to my friend. In the real world, Erin, when two adults live together as roommates, they are both allowed to have company over without asking permission. You invited Angela out here for an entire month, you had Allen over the other day. I didn't know exactly when Allen was coming over. When you have roommates, who have friends, it's common sense that someone might see you naked if you're showering with the door open. If I was doing that, and you had someone over that I took by surprise, I would never in a million years be rude to your friend like that. Who does things like that? What is WRONG with you?

You owe me a serious apology, and you owe Patrick one too. Your behavior was disgusting and embarrassing.

That guy was not a "stranger." He was my friend that means a lot to me, who I've been talking about non-stop for two weeks straight, and who has helped me through all this shit I'm going through that you could care less about.

I don't know who told you that you are better than everyone else, but you're not. All you do is alienate yourself from everyone by judging them, talking shit about them, and playing passive-aggressive mind games.

That you would demand rent for a place that's not even yours that you fucked some guy to stay in just because I had a friend over unexpectedly.. wow. That takes the cake. At least it's good material for my book.

--

Allen is a friend, not someone I'm dating, whom I had paid a massage for. He is licensed massage therapist, and that is the only reason he was over. Angela was also a very good friend of hers at one point. She acted like she was entitled to a free apartment from my friend who she had never met...I could not believe it. And in fact I had paid him hundreds of dollars in utilities.

I responded that she would be out of my apartment the next day before I woke up, and she was. It hurt, but not as much as if we had been close. I think what hurt the most is that my former friend got to her and used her to hurt me.

I am so happy I'm leaving this job and the kind of people that can no longer see humans as people, but as customers to be used and taken advantage of.