Warrior

I know I've been posting much more than usual since I got back from my trip, but I have had a lot on my mind, and have been working very hard to find a way to achieve my new goals.

On a whim I looked up a job opportunity as a dancer in Guam. I received a response immediately, and am now flying out on Sunday. I will be there for at least 3 months to start, longer if I wish. I am so incredibly excited and nervous...I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock that this is actually happening, and fast. The answers to my prayers. To all the obstacles in my way.

With this I will be moved out of my parent's house, be financially independent, and be more than able to pay off my student loans, as well as save up money for a car, etc, for living in Guam for a couple years. I really am in shock.

At the same time, dancing for 8+ hours in a rowdy, busy strip club is going to be hard. Every night is a battle. With the other girls, the customers, the management, and most of all, yourself.

No matter what you're going through that day, you have to be able to walk into that club ready to have a good fucking time. When you're in the club you are not a real woman. You are always immaculate and perfectly beautiful. You never get PMS, never get your period, never fight with your boyfriend, never cry or get depressed. You are the escape for those who visit the club. I admire the fuck out of every dancer I meet, even if I don't like them. I try to, but a lot of dancers are, well, bitches. They really have to be to survive in the world of strip clubs.

I got some inspiration from a ridiculously campy movie today, but this quote rang true so much that I stopped to save it.

"You have to be a warrior, a soldier.
Fearless, uninhibited.
A stripper with a take-no-prisoners...
...raw survival instinct.
So please, for my sake, suck it up.
- It's a war out there.
- Fucking A, sister."

If you know what movie that's from, you get a cookie.

I know I'm going to have to work my ass off. At times it will be living hell, I'm sure of it. I am not unaware of the dark side of stripping. But if I try as hard as I possibly can and harder...the rewards will be beyond measure. And I am not talking about money.